


What Love Is

by heffermonkey



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 15:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heffermonkey/pseuds/heffermonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve’s hurting, Danny is there to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Love Is

Steve looks wrecked and is running on empty by the time Danny eases him through the front door. It's rare Steve ever admits he's ran out of energy, but he doesn't even process the fact that Danny is doing everything for him, from pulling off his over shirt because it's full of grime and grease, to sitting him down and pulling off his boots. By the time he's even aware they're home, dosing intermittently on the chair, which Danny has managed to recline, Danny is setting down a bowl of noodles beside him, left overs from last night’s dinner. Neither of them have the energy to whip up something fresh.

Steve eats without registering a bite, like he's on auto pilot, a scary place to be he recollects. Usually that zone used to only exist when he was on missions as a SEAL, when all you did was think of your next course of action, when you didn't think of the people you'd just killed, the lives you'd stolen or how you just managed to escape unscathed yourself. At least, physically. But if he really thinks about it, he's been running on empty ever since Korea - something about the whole experience knocked him for six, and even though he's put on a brave face and everyone thinks he's moved on, something happened there. Something he can't get back. He doesn't know whether it's Jenna, her reasons and her betrayal or just because he saw her shot right in front of him, the pain that he felt even though he hadn't quite forgiven her for what she had done. He still hadn't decided if he'd forgiven her now, despite her reasons, despite Josh and that preys on his mind, because shouldn't he be able to forgive her, now that she was dead? Not the first time he'd seen an execution, but since he'd joined 5-0, he thought maybe he'd put witnessing that sort of death behind him. He can't get the sight of her hand caught up in the chains, lifeless, loose and just caught up like it had snagged on something, out of his mind. The last memory of her.

Or maybe it's because of Wo Fat - the shadow who just won't quit him and he can't give up on searching for. He's undergone intense torture training, but what they did to him, what he did to him. He says he's gone through worse, but the truth is he hasn't - there was something so personal about it. Usually, torture isn't personal, it's to gain information or to show power or create fear. But the beatings Wo Fat gave him, what he did to him; he saw the look in the man’s eyes, the satisfaction. Yeah it was for Shelburne, for that fucking mystery Steve can't solve. But most of all, it was because Wo Fat had caught him, because he'd strung him up helpless and because he could take some sadistic pleasure at beating him like some trussed up animal.

So he's pretended and it's been so tiring, the pretending and the moving on and acting like everything is a - o - fuckin'- kay. Then another murder case rolls in, and another, and another, so much death, it's so fucking meaningless. He feels like he's swimming in dirt, he's not been clean, not since Korea, maybe not even before that. Maybe he'd just convinced himself that the kind of job he does now is a much cleaner way of living. But even when taking on the task force he had dirty hands - Anton Hesse had been a murderer, a terrorist, but he still questions whether he'd needed to take the kill shot. If he hadn't been running so high on adrenaline, been totally in the zone, maybe Anton would have survived. Maybe his dad would be alive right then.

He chews and frowns, twitches his fingers and looks down to find them empty. So how is he eating? He looks up to find Danny up close, perched on the arm of the chair, bowl in one hand, fork in the other, slowly feeding him. Without a beat he opens up and takes another mouthful. Danny even dabs at his lips with a napkin and Steve fights back the tears gathering in his eyes. He doesn't know if Danny sees his pain or sorrow, but if he does, he doesn't draw attention to it, just continues feeding him and wiping his mouth of excess sauce like it's a normal thing they do.

The food is good; it's fills up part of the gnawing hole inside and makes him feel a little more human. Danny presses a cup into his hands, water to help wash it down and scurries off with the empty bowl. Steve sits back and drifts off into a doze again, dreaming of delicate hands caught in handcuffs, of rolling in dirt and Wo Fat hiding in the shadows of the house. He wakes with a jolt, pushing forward in a rush of panic, a hand landing firmly on his arm.

"Hey, it's okay," Danny assures him gently, his hand running down his arm to take his hand and pull him up. "Let's go to bed."

Steve follows slowly as Danny leads the way. He makes a mental note to thank him in the morning; sleep will give him the energy he needs to start again. Right now, he's happy to let Danny guide him around. Danny leads him right into the bedroom, closing the door behind them and pushing him towards the en suite. Automatically Steve goes in, pulling off his t-shirt as he does and letting it fall behind him. He takes a leak, washes his hand, splashes cold water over his face in hopes it will waken him a little and leans on the sink as he stares at his own reflection. There are dark circles under his eyes, even as he searches his own self he can see the vacant expression reflected back. A tap on the door brings him back to present and he stands straighter, opening up to find Danny standing waiting with a smile.

If Danny has been trying to have a conversation with him, Steve can't say he's been very attentive. Even with the door half closed as Danny uses the bathroom, Steve can hear his voice. But he doesn't pay attention to what he's saying, just lets his voice become a buzz that settles his nerves. He can't get his brain to function enough to concentrate on conversation. He sits heavily on the edge of the bed and sighs, no strength to even remove his pants. When did everything become such an overwhelming task to perform? When did his power cells begin to sap of energy so quickly.

He listens as Danny rejoins him, babbling on about something to do with the car he thinks, at least, he hears the word 'Camaro' and assumes that's the subject. Some minutes later a warm hand settles on his shoulder and he gazes up to find Danny watching him.

"You haven't heard a word I've said have you?" he smiles, giving his shoulder a squeeze. Steve opens his mouth to apologize but Danny is already moving on, like a bee flitting from flower to flower. It wasn’t an accusation, more like realization. "Come on, into bed. You look about ready to crash babe."

With the last of his strength Steve staggers upright and Danny is right there, unbuttoning his pants. Steve doesn't fight the urge to pull him close, just so he can wrap his arms around him and lean on him for support. He has to bend down because of the height difference, but Danny's all stocky and broad in the shoulders and Steve buries his face into the crook of his neck and just breathes in his scent. Danny's hands are strong and firm on his back, rubbing in gentle soothing circles that make him want to zone out again. Steve feels he could stand like that forever and would gladly have drifted if Danny wasn't so insistent on getting into bed. Reluctantly, after a squeeze and gentle chiding from his partner, he stands straighter and lets Danny push his pants down, waiting for him to step out of them before pulling back the sheets.

Lying down, Steve rolls into the middle of the bed on his back, staring up at the ceiling as he feels the bed dip beside him. It's a warm night, too warm for sheets, he's happy to sleep without anything covering them. Nothing but him and Danny. The bed moves and he glances to his side to find Danny looking at him.

" 'night babe," Danny whispers, leaning close and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Steve turns onto his side, a hand reaching out to rest on his hip. "I don't want to go to sleep yet," he protests, even though sleep is pushing in at the edges of his brain.

"Steve," Danny says with a smile. "You're ready for sleep. Have been since we got home."

"Just, c'mere," Steve asks, pulling at him limply. "Please."

He isn't sure why he needs it, why he's suddenly asking for it as he rolls back onto his back. But he needs Danny close, needs him pressing over him, against him, into him. He wants Danny to help chase away the shadows that are haunting him. Danny doesn't resist, lifting up and sliding over him, settling down against him, legs straddling his thighs and he settles on his elbows either side of his shoulders. Gently Danny moves his arms to slide under his head, cradling him as he leans in and presses a soft kiss to his mouth.

Steve sighs, wrapping arms around his waist, tilting his head a little and opening his mouth to feel the heat of Danny's breath hitting against his lips and tongue. Danny takes his time to kiss him slow and delicate, teasing and caressing and Steve just holds on and lets the enjoyment seep into his skin and bones. He likes the feel of Danny's weight lying over him, the warmth of skin and muscle, the feeling of soft flesh as his palms skim over the small of his back. He just lies there contentedly, appreciating the moment as Danny pushes away all the pain and anguish, even though he knows it won't last long. It'll be enough until the next time.

Danny lifts up to look at him closely and Steve stares back, hands resting on his waist, unwilling to let him move away. He wants more, but he doesn't want to rush, he's learning to appreciate these slow moments, just the two of them, it's never been like this with anyone else.

"You okay?" Danny asks quietly, dipping down to brush his lips over the bridge of his nose, following the curve to his cheek.

"I will be," Steve whispers back. Something tickles the back of his throat and he feels tears threatening again. He frowns and squeezes his eyes shut and Danny takes the opportunity to lean up slightly to press kisses to his forehead, easing out the frown lines with his mouth. His lips ghost over the soft thin skin of his eyelids, making the tears threaten even more at the gentleness of the touch.

"Need me to take care of you baby?" Danny whispers against his skin and Steve tightens his hold around him, arms squeezing and pulling him closer.

"Yeah, yeah," Steve admits, lifting his face and blindly seeking another kiss. Danny presses his mouth to his and eases open his lips with gentle movements, tongue delicately seeking entrance. Steve lets out a soft sob and doesn't resist, letting the feel of their connection thrum through his body. He wants more, but he knows Danny will take him through it, slowly taking care of him and his needs.

Danny's tongue licks against his, his body pressing into him with an assured heaviness as he rocks gently against him. Steve rests his hands on the curve of Danny's ass and holds on weakly, giving small, gentle squeezes. He can feel Danny's cock getting hard between their stomachs as Danny steals more demanding kisses from his mouth. Steve lets himself drift on the buzz Danny is beginning to create around them and feels him pulling away.

"Open your legs," Danny whispers as he pushes up and moves to the side. Steve misses the momentary loss of his body heat and pressure, keeping a hand resting on his thigh just for the connection as Danny searches the bedside cabinet for lube. He retrieves it from the drawer and squeezes some into his palm, eyeing Steve with a smile. He greases up some fingers and goes to reach between his legs but Steve catches his wrist and gives a small shake of his head.

"Got to prep you," Danny chides but Steve shakes his head again.

"No, just you," Steve says pleadingly.

"Steve - babe," Danny shakes his head in reply.

"Please Danny," Steve begs, giving his wrist a squeeze and gazing desperately up at him. "Just need to feel you."

"You will, I'll make it good, you know I will," Danny promises him.

"Please," Steve repeats. He doesn't know why he needs it like this, but he begs Danny silently with his eyes for what he needs, unable to voice his reasons. He sees Danny reluctantly relent and lets out a shaky sigh at the trust that shows. Danny may not trust himself, but Steve trusts him, trusts he can give him what he needs right now, in the midst of his exhaustion and desperate need to feel alive again.

He opens his legs when Danny moves over him again, lifting them and wrapping them around his waist, pulling him closer with his thighs and Danny smiles as he sits on his haunches, jerking off slowly as he looks over his body with a greedy expression. He rubs a hand over Steve's right thigh before sliding it underneath and pushing his leg back further, guiding his cock with his free hand to Steve's hole. Steve takes a shaky breath and waits, relaxing himself and letting Danny control the situation.

It's a slow process as Danny begins to seek entrance with a gentle pressure. Steve sucks in soft breaths, concentrating on relaxing, feeling the burn and stretch as Danny starts pushing in. Danny works him open with his cock like he would his fingers, easing in and out and Steve bites down on his lip and lets out soft moans. And Danny whispers to him, soft, gentle hushes that wash over him like a blanket, babys and sweetheart, tender words that make Steve swallow down hard at the emotions they create.

"Okay baby," Danny warns him, two words that tell Steve to prepare for something. He feels Danny's fingers tighten around his leg that he pins back to help his entrance. There's a pause then Steve lets out a satisfied grunt, moans as Danny thrusts forward with his hips and settles deep into him. Steve reaches up, rests a hand around Danny's neck and locks eyes with him as Danny finds a gentle rhythm, not pulling out all the way, staying deep and rocking his hips. Steve doesn't search for words of appreciation, just lets Danny's actions push out moans and grunting gasps from his body.

"Yeah - god baby - so beautiful," Danny says, words pouring out with little meaning. But Steve can see the honesty in his eyes, the gentleness and the need to take care of him this way. "That good sweetheart - yeah you like that. God I love you."

Steve tugs at him weakly, Danny doesn't quit his rhythm as he lowers down, pressing soft gentle kisses as Steve seeks out his mouth. Danny covers him with his body, mouth trailing down over his neck and he settles there, hot breath scorching into Steve’s skin as he thrusts in and out. Steve holds on tightly, feeling the pleasure pooling, his own cock caught between their stomachs, Danny's skin dragging back and forth over it as he moves. Steve begins clawing at him, needing the extra friction, suddenly so close to the edge he's feeling desperate.

"Danny, please," he whispers and Danny lifts up a little, looks into his eyes.

"I know baby, I know," he assures him.

Danny pushes up, strengthens his rhythm, picks up the pace with meaningful thrusts that make Steve groan louder. Steve's fingers scramble and grasp into the sheets as Danny's hand suddenly curls around his dick, squeezing and stroking, words of endearments and encouragements tripping from his lips. ‘Yeah baby come on, this is what you need, just let go sweetheart, let it go, so beautiful baby’ With desperate, choking breaths Steve arches and squirms, Danny relentless as he jerks him off, fucking into him until he comes. Steve yells incoherently, suddenly breaking apart, blinded by white spots behind his eyelids and he feels wetness hitting his stomach, cock twitching in Danny's firm hold. The pleasure rushes over him in waves and for a long time he just rides with it, safe in the knowledge Danny is guiding him. As suddenly as it hits he slumps boneless and exhausted into the sheets, gasping keenly as Danny pulls out of him.

He feels Danny lean over him, hand braced on the mattress, his lips close to his, coming quick and fast. Danny vibrates and shudders over him, letting out delicate, soft endearments that he barely registers in the haze. He opens his eyes dazedly, seeing Danny's face hovering close to his, knows Danny is jerking himself over him as he looks down at him.

"Fuck you're so beautiful baby," Danny whispers, sounding greedy and desperate. "I love you so much. Steve, fuck, Steve, babe."

Steve watches, the look of pure bliss suddenly flooding Danny's features, the way his eyes close, mouth open as he moans through his pleasure. His body stills then rhythmically moves as he comes, Steve can feel the wet stripes hitting his stomach and mixing with his own cream.

"Fuck, baby, god," Danny hums, working his hand until he's spent. With the last of his energy he bends down, stealing sloppy kisses from him before slumping to his side. Steve rolls with him, sticky cream caught between them as they hold each other close. He cuddles in with a satisfied bliss, burying his head into Danny's neck. Danny strokes his back gently, soothing circles as he drifts into sleep.

He's vaguely aware of Danny moving, the sudden emptiness of being left alone. He momentarily panics, rolls onto his back and opens his eyes, lifting with a jerk to find the bathroom light on and Danny appearing like a shadow, cloth in hand. Danny turns off the light, joins him in bed again, wiping messily at his stomach. It's a cool, cold touch and Steve shivers as Danny cleans them both up.

"C'mere," Danny says, lying down again, cloth discarded on the floor. Steve lets himself be pulled close again, Danny's arms wrapping around him protectively. He doesn't resist when Danny orders him gently to 'go back to sleep'. He drifts off in the comfort, soaking the love and gentleness in, enough to build up his strength again until the next time. It doesn't clean everything up, doesn't make every stress or worry go away, but this, having Danny like this, the love, the feeling of happiness, it's more than he's ever expected or felt he's ever deserved.

It makes the burdens of his life so much easier to deal with, because Danny never lets him bear it alone.


End file.
